Rahman is a dashing young man!
To be honest, I don’t even remember how we met. Our parents were friends and I guess we became friends by default. We attended the same schools – primary and secondary. In secondary school, he was one of the cool kids.
Once, some friends and I were talking about how to treat and spoil women (we were 15 years old at that time). The guys were talking about how they would do this and that making us girls believe that our fairytales could actually come true when Rahman said “Guys C’mon! What are you talking about! You know you have to beat her so that she does not misbehave!” We were all shocked! Where did that come from? How could this handsome soft-spoken cool guy say that? We all went like “Rahman! How could you say that” Only a brute would hit a woman”, “……” He wasn’t swayed by the fact that we were practically calling him a brute. He stuck to his guns explaining to us that a woman needs to be beaten so that she would always remember her place in the home, that some wives were very stubborn, …..
I just stood there staring at him wondering if his father beat his mother. I thought “no, it couldn’t be. His mother is a social woman, rich and elegant. Nope! Definitely couldn’t be the case”
We finished from secondary school. I attended a federal university. He attended a private one and then he went to the UK for his MBA. We lost touch except for the once in a while “hi” on Hi5.
Some years later, we met at a wedding in Ibadan, we were seated at the same table with some other people. Naturally, there was some small talk going on about the table about the wedding decorations, the music, how the newly married couple met and so on.
I leaned towards him and asked (not even sure if he would remember the conversation about wife battery) “Same position on the beating of a woman as in high school?”
He replied with a grin “Yeah! Same position as always! You’ve got to keep her grounded.”
I was like “really!”
He just grinned and sipped from his glass of water.
I didn’t really know what to say except to keep the conversation light and continue to chat with all the other people on our table.
About 45 minutes later, a tall dark skinned girl walked to our table and Rahman jumped to his feet, placed a kiss on her cheek (Ooooooh! Ahhhhh!) He introduced her to us as his fiancée, drew out a chair for her and smiled at her while she was gushing intently into his ears about something. They looked so wonderful together.
I just sat there trying not to stare at them and wondered if she was well aware of the life of beating and battery she was signing up for.
Talk about a gentleman and a monster!


Elizabeth O. · 15th April 2016 at 12:19 am

Oh, that’s really alarming for a child to say that! I really hope he has changed, I can only feel bad for his fiancee. I can never be with a man who beats women up, I don’t think anyone could. That marriage will end badly.

Franc Ramon · 15th April 2016 at 10:12 am

Beating up ladies is a bit backward thinking. I hope Rahman realize that it’s not right especially when he gets married.

Jason Panuelos · 15th April 2016 at 2:06 pm

This is such a surreal conversation! I don’t know what I would’ve done in this situation :O

Sunshine Kelly · 15th April 2016 at 5:00 pm

This is bad, I don’t tolerate with guy that beats women. No matter what one should not have any act of violence against women.

Fred · 15th April 2016 at 5:13 pm

This story is disturbing to hear. So what do we do when we know our friend is up to something no good to someone else? Should we intervene? It will really be hard if you are close to either bad boy or the poor girl.

Bhushavali · 15th April 2016 at 9:05 pm

Omg! I’m just hopibg what you shared here us just a story and not a real event…

Amanda Love · 15th April 2016 at 10:31 pm

I wonder if his response at the wedding was more to shock than what he truly meant. If he still thinks that way however, I’m very sorry for his future wife.

Pete Zafra · 16th April 2016 at 1:08 am

Wow that is definitely a big no no for me. A man laying his hands on a woman is never good. I instantly lose respect to men who are like that. There’s always a better way to solve things than by using violence which not only hurts people physically, but emotionally, psychologically and mentally as well.

I sure hope his fiance won’t be a victim. Hope that guy changed his ways.

Claire Marie Algarme · 16th April 2016 at 5:51 am

I believe should be respected and taken cared of. She shouldn’t be beaten! A couple may have their share of fights & misunderstanding but it should even be grounds for beating a woman.

nicol · 16th April 2016 at 2:21 pm

oh dear, definitely more of a monster than a gentleman. it is horrendous to hear something like

Shub · 16th April 2016 at 3:09 pm

OMG! Men with such thoughts are so dangerous to live with. This kind of though process is just not okay. Hope the girl notices the monster behind the gentleman before it’s too late.

Pooja Kawatra · 17th April 2016 at 8:43 am

Seriously, I have read your article twice that I am not reading it wrongly but true we have these kind of people.

Tiffany Yong · 18th April 2016 at 10:59 am

Is this a story or is this real? Because it will be really scary if it is real. I won’t know what to do if my female friend is attached to such a guy!

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